"My sister "Anna" had a miscarriage of a much-wanted pregnancy last year. I am currently pregnant, and the date of her miscarriage is the date I am due. Now Anna has made an unimaginable request: She wants me to have myself induced into labor before that date because, according to her, if I were to have my baby on the day she miscarried, she "would never get over it.""
"I have explained to her there's no guarantee I will have my baby on my due date-it's an approximation-and even if there were, I am not going to be induced into labor ahead of time for non-medical reason! Anna is now pitching a fit and even tried to get our mother to work on me. She backed off once I told her that if she didn't, she could forget seeing the baby until they graduated from college."
"I'm going to assume that you didn't know the date of your sister's miscarriage when you told her your due date and that you were totally unaware of what that day meant to her. If not, you owe her an apology. If you'd known your due date and the date of her miscarriage were the same, then telling her that coincidence would have been insensitive. You could have told her a different date-how would she have known?"
A woman is pregnant and due on the anniversary of her sister's prior miscarriage. The sister asked the pregnant woman to be induced early to avoid delivering on that anniversary, citing inability to cope if the baby arrived on that date. The pregnant woman refuses non-medical induction, has blocked the sister, and disinvited her from the baby shower. An apology is owed only if the due date was shared knowingly despite the anniversary. The sister is grieving and requires empathy even when unreasonable. Timing makes overlap likely, and missing celebratory events may help her cope during the anniversary.
Read at Slate Magazine
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