A first-time parent worried about raising an angry young man after repeated news about boys, guns, and rage. Concerns about boys and anger are common, including claims that men who feel lost may choose withdrawal or rage. Over time, observing children shows that boys do not inherently struggle with anger because they are boys. Children can lash out in frustration or when asked to do unwanted things. Anger can be experienced and expressed with individual nuance, and it is inaccurate to generalize that boys experience anger more than girls. Parents can respond to outbursts with strategies such as walking away or strategic ignoring to help diffuse tantrums.
"I was elated and excited... and then worried about anger. There had recently been yet another school shooting, followed by yet another rash of headlines about boys, guns, and rage. I understand the roots of that kind of violence are deeply complex, and that in my own life I am surrounded by loving, empathetic men. But I was also a hormonal soon-to-be first-time mom (who, in hindsight, was probably grappling with a touch of perinatal anxiety). I worried that I would raise an angry young man."
"The man who feels lost but wishes to preserve his fully masculine self has only two choices: withdrawal or rage. The story has more than 2,100 comments. Clearly it struck a chord. Now that I know my boys and have spent years watching their beautiful, complex little personalities unfold, those fears I held during my pregnancy seem distant and reductive. Of course they do not inherently struggle with anger simply because they are boys."
"And yet they do lash out - sometimes in frustration, sometimes when I ask them to do something they don't want to. What I want is to help them navigate that anger, so they can experience the feeling, but not be overwhelmed by it. First, understand that there can be differences in how boys and girls experience and express anger. Obviously, there is so much nuance when it comes to individuals, emotions - and how they express those emotions."
"It is not fair, nor accurate, to say that all boys experience anger one way, while all girls experience it another. And research shows it is a myth that boys and men experience anger more than girls and women. Although parents might react to a child's anger or outburst by walking away (and strategic ignoring can certainly be one way to help diffuse tantrums),"
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