The author recounts a meeting with the school dean after their daughter exhibited 'mean girl' behavior by consistently excluding a classmate. This experience led the parents to reflect on their parenting approach and their daughter's understanding of kindness and empathy. They recognize that children's social behaviors are influenced by peer dynamics, and the ongoing conversations at home are essential in helping their daughter navigate her relationships. Over time, their daughter learns to include the classmate, prompting a shift towards a more empathetic perspective.
"While my daughter's behavior was unkind and inexcusable, the more I peeled back the layers, the more I found that her view of what happened was complex and tangled in her other relationships at school."
"Children are their own persons, shaped by a combination of factors. I struggled not to see my daughter's behavior as a character flaw instead of what it was - an immature person learning to navigate a difficult relationship."
"As we discussed her behavior, I found she usually reacted and modeled it off her peers. Continuing conversation at home helped my daughter change her attitude toward the girl she was being catty to."
"Hadn't we emphasized kindness in our home and modeled empathy? How often did we tell our daughter about times we experienced bullying as kids - that it hurt our feelings and left a lasting impact?"
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