How to Raise Confident Children

"Putting our children first is a natural human inclination. But when we model this behavior, not just with them, but with others as well, what's the trickle-down message? Should they too put others before themselves? Should their needs, wants, and desires come last? Is it truly "selfish" to take care of one's needs or is it responsible. Should we not teach our children that by taking care of their "self" they actually unburden others from having to do it and save themselves"

"Show your child that boundaries are an important part of a healthy lifestyle. Boundaries may involve limits on your time, work/life balance, needs for personal space. Whatever they are, show that you stick to them because they are important for your mental wellbeing (Cole, Boundary Boss). Identify for your children when someone is challenging your boundaries so they can see how you handle it. Show them how you hold steady instead of waffling because you'd rather avoid conflict."

"Learning to say "no" is a skill. It can be done kindly, mindfully, and with grace, but the outcome is still saying "no", without ambivalence. Modeling how to be firm, but kind when you can't or don't want to do something is a muscle you can help your child develop and practice. When it's difficult to say "no" we tend to overcommit ourselves. In doing so we disrupt the balance we've been setting about the importance of boundaries."

Prioritize children while modeling balanced self-care through clear, consistent boundaries. Boundaries can include limits on time, work-life balance, and personal space and should be maintained for mental wellbeing. Demonstrate when others challenge boundaries and hold steady instead of avoiding conflict. Encourage children to identify and create boundaries around activities like social time and homework. Teach that saying "no" is a responsible skill that can be kind and mindful. Practice saying "no" with children so they develop firm, graceful refusal and preserve personal limits to prevent overcommitment and resentment.

Read at Psychology Today