"First, as soon as we think about having a baby, we imagine what that baby will be like: what they might look like, what their personality might be like, what their abilities might be. Often we hope for a child who will be a particular way, or have particular skills and abilities. If school was important for us, we might hope for a child who is "smart" and does well in school."
"If we expect our children to get all A's, what happens if they turn out to have a learning disability and reading or math just doesn't come easily to them? How will they feel about themselves when they come home with B's or C's...or worse? Or what if we want our kids to be athletes? What if it turns out that they prefer to sit and read,"
Expectations for children often form before birth, imagining appearance, personality, skills, and future achievements. Parents commonly project personal values such as academic success or athletic ability onto children. Rigid expectations can fail to accommodate learning disabilities, different interests, or slower development, producing disappointment that undermines motivation, confidence, and self-esteem. Allowing children space to discover strengths and establish their own goals supports healthier development. Permitting manageable failures and setting smaller, attainable goals builds resilience, realistic self-appraisal, intrinsic motivation, and long-term growth. Parental awareness and adjustment of expectations enable supportive responses to setbacks and reduce pressure to conform.
Read at Psychology Today
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