A meltdown occurs when a child's body becomes dysregulated because a real or perceived need is not being met, and the child communicates using the tools available, such as tears or loudness. Meltdowns signal overwhelm and an inability to process emotions, requiring release rather than punishment. Meltdowns can serve a constructive role by revealing underlying needs and limits. Effective caregiver responses include curiosity about the function of the behavior—whether the child seeks escape, access, or attention—and providing space for both the child and caregiver to regain composure. Understanding patterns helps meet needs more helpfully.
What exactly constitutes a meltdown? As Lorain Moorehead, an individual and family therapist, explains, a meltdown is, on some level, a child's expression of their opinion or preference. "Their body is dysregulated either because of their real or perceived need not being met, and they are communicating it with the tools they have available in the moment, which in the case of a meltdown might be tears, volume, or other means to return to a state of control," she says.
First, you should know that a meltdown can actually be a good thing - hear me out. "Meltdowns are how children communicate with us; they tell us that our child is overwhelmed, can't process, and just needs to release it the only way they know how," says Laura Todd, certified perinatal and early childhood mental health therapist. Below, Moorehead, Todd, and other child experts reveal how they personally handle meltdowns with their little ones.
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