"I had gotten along fine with my son until this moment nine years ago. Since then, he won't speak to me or return my texts, letters or phone calls and I haven't seen him. If I call him and he answers, he hangs up as soon as he hears my voice. I have no idea where he lives now (he's out of the Marines) or what his life situation is."
"But the fact is, if he won't tell you what's wrong, or even that there is something wrong, then there's nothing for you to fix. It sounds like you've tried every avenue available to you in an attempt to reach him. It strikes me as cruel that he wouldn't even write a letter back, even to air grievances. For your own healing process, it will be helpful to stop reaching out for now."
A mother reports being abandoned by a dating partner while pregnant, raising a son alone, later marrying and divorcing after twenty tumultuous years, and losing contact with her son nine years ago. The son ceased communication, ignored messages, and hangs up when she calls; she does not know his whereabouts or life situation. Advice states that if the son will not state grievances there is nothing for the mother to fix, recommends stopping outreach for the mother's healing, and suggests joining support groups and reading Done With the Crying for mothers of estranged adult children. Emotional boundaries and self-care are emphasized for recovery.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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