As a psychologist, I know how ashamed parents can feel for 'raging out.' Here's how to cope with anger.

"It's 5 p.m. and you're trying to make dinner. Before you turn on the oven, your phone starts pinging , and your 8-year-old pleads for screen time. Meanwhile, your 4-year-old pulls the cat's tail and starts screaming. "Mom!" your oldest child yells, as if they have a megaphone. Suddenly, your blood starts to boil, and your heart starts pounding. "Be quiet! Can't you see that I'm busy?""

"As a psychologist, I know that "raging out" can elicit shame, unleashing self-critical thoughts, such as "What kind of parent acts like this?" or "Why can't I get it together?" Anger, however, is not a character flaw. It's an emotion that's necessar y for our survival. Anger protects us from being violated, insulted, or rejected - even by our kids. And when it comes to emotions, it's the way we handle them that matters most."

"Note how that anger felt in your body. Perhaps your jaw felt tight or your voice got louder. Or maybe your heart sped up, or your body felt warm. Anger presents differently in everyone, but awareness of these physical sensations can help you dial down the heat the next time you're getting worked up. When we recognize anger's presence, we can take active steps to reset. Simply taking deep, belly breaths can calm the body's nervous system, which can help tame angry feelings."

Evening caregiving routines often trigger simultaneous demands such as preparing dinner, device requests, and sibling distress, escalating parental stress and anger. The mental load of caregiving, especially for mothers, increases vulnerability to rage and subsequent shame and self-criticism. Anger functions as a survival emotion that protects against violation, insult, or rejection and is not a character flaw. Physical awareness of anger (jaw tension, racing heart, warmth) enables regulation. Noticing bodily sensations and using strategies like deep, belly breaths can calm the nervous system and provide opportunities to reset before reacting, improving parental well-being and relationships.

Read at Business Insider