6 Tips for Managing a Challenging Co-Parent Relationship

"Managing your relationship with an unreliable or uncooperative co-parent can be very challenging, especially if you worry about your children spending time with them. I have worked with hundreds of women navigating divorce and want to reassure you that there is a lot of research supporting the fact that one healthy parent can outweigh the impact of an unhealthy parent. If you feel there are true safety concerns (this does not include less nutritious snacks or a later bedtime), it is important that you consult your legal team about options. Speaking with a child therapist or checking in with your child's pediatrician are other helpful avenues. If you don't have safety concerns but your relationship with your co-parent is strained, or you're worried about their parenting style, here are six things that can help."

"1. Check in with your co-parent about your concerns in a non-accusatory tone. Use neutral starting phrases like "I know we both want what is best for Sammy" or "I know Sammy can exaggerate, so I wanted to check in about what he told me." Many children aren't accurate reporters, and some will exaggerate to get attention. Before you react to what your child tells you, check in with your co-parent to hear their version of the story."

"2. Establish firm, consistent boundaries with your ex. When you initially develop a parenting plan with your mediator or lawyer, make sure it's extremely detailed to limit ongoing negotiation as much as possible. For example, what happens if your child is too sick to go to school or there's a snow day? Anticipating these scenarios in advance, before you complete the le"

Managing an unreliable or uncooperative co-parent creates stress for both parents and children. Research indicates that one healthy, consistent parent can mitigate harm from an unhealthy parent. True safety concerns require legal consultation, while child therapists and pediatricians can offer guidance. Strained co-parent relationships benefit from non-accusatory check-ins, neutral phrasing, and verifying children's reports with the other parent. Develop a detailed parenting plan and establish firm, consistent boundaries to minimize ongoing negotiation and anticipate common scenarios. Clear boundaries and calm communication reduce conflict, and technology or a third party can facilitate exchanges when communication breaks down.

Read at Psychology Today