I entered public school at thirteen and was bullied by the kids, who immediately picked up on my lack of social skills. I was as polite and pleasant to them as I would be to anyone. A month later, once I had established my first-ever friend group, they told me how unusual my inability to be bothered by bullies was, citing my extraordinary ability to be unbothered by verbal abuse. Being taunted for my physical appearance wasn't unusual to me because that's how my parents spoke to me. That's when I knew my parents were different. It had never occurred to me that my parents were different because I had just always known they didn't like me and that being laughed at and called names by them was just how they treated me.
Apparently, it's really unsettling to bullies when you genuinely laugh off their comments or double down and provide an even worse description of your failings without having any negative emotions around it. It made me feel very proud of myself for the things I knew I was good at and, in an odd way, provided me the confidence to be curious. My parents didn't care about me or anything I did, so I had to seek out what was important to me and accept the influence of people I genuinely respected and admired.
I went to work as an Au Pair after university. I was shocked that people have family dinners and talk about how their day went and that children's answers were taken seriously and not mocked or dismissed. I was shocked when the kids' dad went out of his study to ask his children, 'How are you?'
I was shocked that parents actually take kids to activities that their children like and not to those they, the parents, like. I was shocked that you can have fun with your kids instead of just tolerating them.
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