Most people have some negative self-story lurking in the shadows of their consciousness, something they believe or fear is true about themselves-something bad.
If, for example, you didn't get invited to the popular kids' parties when you were young, you then decide you don't fit in and are uncool and unlikable, which may not be something you tell yourself explicitly, but it's there in the shadows of your mind, as a wallpaper belief.
What makes this negative self-story so sticky and difficult to change and extricate yourself from is that it's constantly being reinforced and validated.
The point is, the meaning you generate from painful experiences establishes a negative narrative about who and how you are.
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