No one likes to find out they disappointed someone or made a mistake, especially if they tried to do the right thing or feel unfairly accused. But some people have particular difficulty admitting they were wrong, taking responsibility, or saying they are sorry in a meaningful way. This struggle is common in personal relationships and can be seen in high-profile figures and global politics, where unconscious defenses can prevent adaptive behavior.
A common obstacle to apologizing is the conviction that we shouldn't have to apologize because we didn't do anything "wrong." Even if this is technically true, being invested in proving we're "right" prolongs conflict and sows division. If one person is right, the other is wrong, leading to a relational standpoint where everyone loses.
We heal through connection, rather than standing our ground as enemies. Hostility smolders when the human yearning for reparation is met with deception, resistance, or a wall of indifference. Recognizing what's happening behind the scenes in a stalemate can help us step up, or let go, and curb the cycle of destructive interactions.
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