Rethinking 'Anger Issues'

"The thing that is often being missed by parents, teachers, coaches, treatment providers, and other adults in their lives is that they actually don't have "anger issues"; they have anxiety disorders. When their anxiety is triggered, they go into a fight response. This distinction is very important as it often changes the way that others respond to the child and will inform what response should be taken to support them in increasing their emotional regulation skills."

"Our stress responses are instincts preprogrammed into our brains to keep us alive in emergency situations. We often talk about our stress responses, "fight, flight, and freeze," but then forget that the fight response is a stress response. On the surface, these kids, many of whom are also neurodivergent, look like they have anger issues, but, in reality, they have anxiety issues."

Many children referred for treatment are diagnosed with anger issues when they actually have anxiety disorders. Their aggressive responses stem from a fight stress response triggered by anxiety, not anger itself. The fight response is a legitimate survival instinct preprogrammed into the brain to handle emergency situations. Understanding this distinction is crucial because it changes how adults respond to and support these children. Recognizing anxiety as the root cause allows for more appropriate interventions focused on anxiety management rather than anger control. Helping children find healthy outlets for their fight response can increase self-regulation and emotional control.

Read at Psychology Today