The author shares her experience of feeling sidelined in conversations with male friends, who often dominate discussions with their own concerns. Despite her training as a psychotherapist and willingness to listen, she struggles to steer discussions back to mutual engagement. The essay highlights a broader issue of communication dynamics, where men may unconsciously assert dominance, overshadowing women’s contributions. Yet, the author acknowledges that self-involvement is not exclusive to one gender, deriving insights about conversational imbalance that extend beyond traditional gender roles.
Men talk over, talk past, talk through women—it’s true. Across centuries of sonic warfare, we have used chauvinist bass, patriarchal booming, and crude shifts in tempo to seize and hold the floor.
Some of these topics interest me, so I'm willing to be a welcoming listener. However, when it gets to be too much, I occasionally try to steer the conversation toward me.
There’s no monopoly on self-involvement, in my experience. I’ve been solipsistically droned at by persons of all genders and none.
I have no interest in confronting them and suggesting that they 'work through' what I deem to be (mostly) their problem.
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