The letter highlights the struggle of a woman whose husband is unable to engage in traditional sexual activities due to hypopharyngeal cancer. Despite their deep love, her dissatisfaction arises from feeling like her sexual contributions are merely 'servicing' her husband. She reflects on the loss of physical intimacy and connection they once shared. The advice offered emphasizes the importance of exploring alternative methods of sexual pleasure, such as using a vibrator, to help her regain a sense of intimacy and comfort in their altered relationship.
It may be worth spending some time considering what about vibrators makes you feel self-conscious and unsexy, as that's the only way I see to introduce sexual pleasure for you.
You might try using one alone at first and see whether you can get comfortable with it on your own terms.
At this point, I don’t think suggesting sex therapy would help matters and would probably make my husband feel even more useless as a partner.
You’ll have to either allow things to continue as they are or find new ways to connect intimately.
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