What you describe sounds like a condition often referred to as delayed orgasm, which is notoriously difficult to treat. Definitions/terminology vary and others might call what you are experiencing delayed ejaculation or even anorgasmia, which generally refers to an absence of orgasm but sometimes is used when orgasms are delayed, infrequent, or lacking intensity despite being aroused.
A 2024 paper in the International Journal of Impotence Research that reviewed the literature on DO broke down the common causes for the condition like so: SSRIs (42 percent), psychogenic (28 percent), low testosterone (21 percent), abnormal penile sensation (7 percent) and penile hyperstimulation (2 percent). I recommend reading that paper, as it's teeming with useful information.
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