"We sweaty, simian-adjacent sacks of meat are the Elon Musks of planetary organisms. We didn't gain control of the world through ingenuity but through a hostile takeover."
"This year's tour has visitors wary of the Reptoids, a reptilian-humanoid species who have been plotting to overthrow our little blue ball for quite some time."
"The Grays are dying and the green compound has gone missing. It's no surprise that the Reptoids are behind it, as a climate-ravaged Earth would be the very sort of environment in which their species could thrive."
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