The Fear Creativity Awakens at Midnight

"The clock reads 12:05 AM. My eyes pop open. I'm bombarded with questions: What were you thinking? Are you crazy? Who do you think you are anyway? A feeling of queasiness and tension grips my abdomen. I know this feeling: Midnight doom darts. In expressive arts therapy, both counselors and patients learn that the body often experiences felt senses representing emotions and thoughts-both positive and negative. A flutter in the chest when we see our true love. Tightness in the jaw when we're about to go on stage. Receiving a poor grade or a dire medical diagnosis manifests as a queasy stomach."

""Learning the focusing attitude toward the felt sense is a good example of how it can become a pivotal piece in supporting safety" (Malchiodi, 2020, p. 160). Even though I didn't like the feeling, I knew the feeling was real. I had to experience it. The day before, I felt very productive. I woke before my 5 AM alarm, feeling rested, energized, and ready to conquer the world."

"I've started a new practice of meditating with my journal open on my lap, a pen in my hand. As thoughts and ideas form, and seemingly walk across my consciousness, I no longer worry that I will forget them after the next five, 10, 15, or 20 minutes of contemplation have passed. This process often captures exciting ideas that transpire into creative projects. Throughout the morning, I felt a pleasant sensation-excitement."

"Imagine a fish tank of hungry minnows. The owner flips up the top and sprinkles tiny flakes of food on the surface. Suddenly, the glassy surface of the still water shimmers and bubbles. My morning excitement felt visceral Creative fear and creative excitement often coexist. Accepting this dichotomy fosters art-making. Importer syndrome often appears before meaningful creative work. The body may experience physical sensations before the mind can interpret them."

At midnight, intrusive questions and queasiness appear as “midnight doom.” Felt body sensations can represent emotions and thoughts, including fear, tension, and safety needs. Focusing on the felt sense supports safety even when the feeling is disliked. Earlier, productive meditation with journaling captures ideas without fear of forgetting them. Excitement can be experienced as a visceral sensation, like fish tank minnows responding to food. Creative fear and creative excitement often coexist, and accepting that pairing supports art-making. Impostor syndrome can arise before meaningful creative work. Physical sensations may occur before the mind can interpret them.

Read at Psychology Today