"Can you change your life in five seconds? Perhaps not, but it can be a first step toward making a big difference in your life. Rather than saying or doing the first thing that comes to mind when faced with an angering or upsetting situation, give yourself five or 10 seconds to pause and reflect before you respond. The ability to delay your response is a form of emotional self-regulation."
"The psychologist Victor Frankl observed: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Or we can take counsel from Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, who said: "When angry, count 10 before you speak; if very angry, 100." Rather than react reflexively or impulsively, following Jefferson's advice gives us time to reflect and prepare a thoughtful response, especially in difficult, confrontative situations."
A brief pause of five to ten seconds before responding helps shift reactions from the reflexive, emotional brain to the thinking brain. Delaying a response creates space for reflection, allowing calmer, more thoughtful replies and reducing regret from impulsive remarks. Influential figures recommend counting before speaking to regain control and exercise personal freedom in reactions. Common triggers include sudden anger, critical feedback that wounds self-worth, and interruptions during tasks. Practicing a short pause can prevent misinterpretation, escalation, and exaggerated assumptions, while fostering deliberate communication and better emotional regulation in confrontative or upsetting situations.
Read at Psychology Today
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