
"We Accept The Givens of Life: Things change and end. Things don't always go according to plan. Things are not always fair. Pain is part of life. People are not loving and loyal all the time. Each of these conditions of existence equips us with a handy skill. Since it is a given that people leave us, it becomes a given that we will be alone, so it is wise to plan for that by becoming comfortable being by ourselves right now."
"Since it is a given that things do not always go according to plan, it is a given that we will be disappointed, so it is wise to become comfortable with fewer expectations. Since it is a given that things are not always fair, it is a given that we will occasionally feel cheated, so it is wise to become comfortable with grieving losses, with working for justice, and with letting go of the urge to retaliate."
Life contains unavoidable conditions: change, endings, unmet plans, unfairness, pain, and intermittent unloving behavior. Accepting these givens fosters practical skills: prepare for solitude, reduce expectations, grieve losses, pursue justice without retaliation, and bear pain while growing. Cultivating loving-kindness and relinquishing censure supports emotional resilience despite others' failures. An inner vitality persists through tragedy, motivating renewal and perseverance. Acceptance of unchangeable realities enables active adaptation rather than passive resignation. Openness and creative resourcefulness arise when responding to life's givens, producing growth, renewed purpose, and the capacity to start over.
Read at Psychology Today
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