Agrees in Theory, Protests in Practice

"Manage your expectations: A child agreeing to a limit in theory but protesting in practice is to be expected. They aren't "tricking" you, they're just having a hard time accepting it once it's a reality. Getting frustrated and angry almost always escalates the situation and doesn't result in any lessons learned. Be prepared for this curveball so you can respond in a way that's supportive while holding the limit."

"Marcel is pleased and relieved at how accepting Jonah is about this limit. He's feeling hopeful and like a really great dad; he's being sensitive and respectful by giving Jonah advance warning, and Jonah is showing signs of good self-regulation.They arrive at the store and within minutes, Jonah is begging for a cookie from the bakery section."

"Marcel is pissed. He feels completely duped. With annoyance, he reacts: "Jonah, we talked about this. I told you there would be no treats and you agreed to that plan!" Jonah escalates, kicking the grocery cart and shouting, "I always get a cookie at the store with mommy."

Children can verbally accept limits yet protest or escalate when the limit becomes real. Parents should expect this mismatch between agreement and behavior because children often struggle to accept disappointment in the moment. Reacting with anger or frustration typically escalates the situation and undermines learning. Preparing in advance for this common curveball helps parents respond supportively while maintaining the limit. Clear advance warning, consistent boundaries, and calm responses promote emotional regulation and reinforce expectations. Recognizing maximalist tendencies and avoiding personalizing the child's reaction makes it easier to hold limits without punitive escalation.

Read at Psychology Today