"In my private practice, I work with a grandmother who feels like she worries "too much" about her teenage granddaughter. She often feels that when she visits with her adult children and grandchildren, as much as she loves seeing them, she always leaves worrying more and more about things that her granddaughter is doing. Her granddaughter's struggles with friendships, her reliance on social media, and worries about her future in today's uncertain world sit squarely on this grandmother's shoulders."
"Connected to this worry is the grandmother's feeling that she can't say anything to her daughter or son-in-law, fearing they would dismiss her concerns. Beneath that, her granddaughter's social struggles also stir up old memories-her own adolescent difficulties with friends, and even now, her current challenges making new friends in her independent living residence. In this way, her worries are not just about her granddaughter's life but her own, reflected back at her."
Grandparents often worry because they love deeply and want grandchildren to thrive, but that worry frequently reflects their own past experiences and current losses. Distance from day-to-day parenting can magnify concern because grandparents see risks but have less power to act. Grandchildren now grow up in a different cultural and technological world, and the grandparent role shifts from authority to supportive influencer. Effective responses include observing, pausing, and allowing grandchildren to build resilience, while balancing concern with trust. When raising concerns with adult children, careful preparation, sensitive timing, and respectful communication improve the chances of being heard.
Read at Psychology Today
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