Survivors of domestic violence may experience their own children as a trigger for re-activated trauma. Caregiving responsibilities from childhood can shape intense involvement in a child’s life, especially during transitions. Parents may overcompensate to prevent their children from experiencing what they endured. When children reach milestones such as leaving for college or becoming independent, unresolved fear and grief can surface. Anxiety, insomnia, and physical symptoms can intensify as the parent confronts separation and autonomy. Therapy may shift from focusing on current symptoms to examining childhood experiences of neglect, instability, and responsibility beyond a child’s role.
"Survivors of families with domestic violence find that having their own children can re-activate trauma."
"Many survivors overcompensate to try to prevent their children from experiencing what they endured."
"Milestones, like a child leaving for college or being independent, can activate unresolved trauma in parents."
"“I never had the chance to go to college,” she told me the first day. “My dad was gone. My mother could barely take care of herself. Someone had to stay behind and take care of my younger siblings.” As she spoke, it became clear that Destiny had spent much of her childhood in a caregiving role. While other kids were focused on school, friendships, and planning for their futures, she was focused on survival and responsibility."
Read at Psychology Today
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