"Vengeance is both a state of mind as well as a potential impetus to action. It is a response to a transgression, real or perceived, that includes thoughts of revenge. But if you were to examine the moment-to-moment progression from triggering event to vengeance, it begins with labeling the event as a transgression, accompanied by emotional pain. And while it may culminate in anger, it entails negative emotions such as shame, sadness, hurt, and loss."
"This belief rests on a desire to take control over the offender and make them suffer. And by doing so, they momentarily believe it will lead to relief and a positive state of mind. However, in actuality, taking vengeance tends to prolong the negative emotional states. And as long as they focus on vengeance, they will be distracted from the raw sting of the emotional pain that prompts it."
Vengeance begins as a mental state and may lead to action in response to real or perceived transgressions. The process starts with labeling the event as a transgression and experiencing emotional pain, including shame, sadness, hurt, and loss, often culminating in anger. Seeking revenge is driven by a desire to regain control and punish the offender, with an expectation of relief. In practice, acting on vengeance prolongs negative emotional states and distracts attention and energy away from grieving and gradual healing. Persisting in vengeance strengthens a sense of victimhood. Grieving and processing the underlying pain provide the pathway away from vengeance's paralysis.
Read at Psychology Today
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