A man stands to deliver his late wife Jane's eulogy after her death from leukemia, confronting grief in front of more than 250 friends and family. Traditional masculinity frames emotional openness as weakness, allowing vulnerability only in rare dramatic moments. Men are socialized to suppress compassion, empathy, nurturance, tenderness, vulnerability, and intimacy because these traits are coded as feminine. When men show emotion they can be perceived as less masculine or even shamed, and some women may react negatively. Vulnerability remains risky for men, yet practicing it deepens connection and makes life's hardest and richest moments more meaningful.
Rising from my seat at the front table, a familiar acid burn crawls up my throat. It's that failure lump I've carried for the past 16 months. Today is somber. My late wife Jane's celebration of life. She died just over a month ago after a 15‑month battle with leukemia. More than 250 friends and family members fill the room, waiting for me to deliver her eulogy.
You often hear that "women say they want a man who opens up." But for many men, the reality feels different. In a 2024 post, psychologist Avrum Weiss explains that men are socialized to suppress "compassion, empathy, nurturance, tenderness, vulnerability, and intimacy " because these traits are coded as feminine. The result, Weiss argues, is that when men dare to be vulnerable, they risk being perceived as less masculine-sometimes even shamed for it.
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