The Anxiety of Asking for Help
Briefly

The article discusses how perfectionists often fear acknowledging their needs and limitations, which leads to conflict in relationships. They perceive asking for help as a vulnerability that disrupts their comfort and reinforces their shame. Conflicts arise when partners expect each other to anticipate needs, leading to feelings of resentment when those expectations are unmet. In couple's therapy, perfectionists learn to recognize their shame and defensiveness, addressing their struggles with asking for help and the underlying patterns affecting their relationships.
Asking for help implies a need, which, in turn, implies a vulnerability. Conflict occurs when partners expect each other to anticipate needs, leading to resentment.
Perfectionism protects one from acknowledging their weaknesses and feelings of shame. It maintains comfort but is disrupted when asking for help, leading to relationship strain.
Perfectionists often carry shame about their limitations and loathe needing help, viewing it as an inadequacy. This leads to displaced anger and defensiveness in relationships.
In couple's therapy, perfectionists discover why they struggle to ask for help and the resulting resentment. Recognizing these patterns is key to resolving relational issues.
Read at Psychology Today
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