"There has been growing discussion online about therapists encouraging clients to cut off their parents, but a responsible therapist does not enter therapy with that agenda. The goal of therapy is not to separate parents and children who want to stay connected or push clients toward a particular outcome. Instead, therapy offers space to explore family history, understand relational patterns, and clarify what kind of relationship aligns with a client's safety and values."
"Tell me about your history with this person. Is there a history of this behavior that predates you? How far back does it go in the family tree? How have other family members managed or responded to it? Have there been previous estrangements or cutoffs? How were they handled? How do you think your family member perceives their own behavior?"
"One of my specialties is working with individuals who come from dysfunctional or emotionally complex families. For many of these clients, a central question in estrangement therapy is how connected or disconnected to remain from a particular family member. While decisions about more distant relatives often carry lower emotional stakes, clients tend to struggle most when considering distance from a parent."
Clients from dysfunctional or emotionally complex families often confront whether to remain connected to or distance themselves from specific relatives, particularly parents. Responsible therapists do not start with an agenda to push separation; therapy creates space for exploration rather than coercion. Therapy examines family history, intergenerational patterns, prior estrangements, and how relatives respond to problematic behavior. Therapists use reflective questions to trace long-term behavior and generational trends. The therapeutic process helps clients assess safety, weigh grief and self-protection, and determine the form of relationship that aligns with their values and wellbeing.
Read at Psychology Today
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