In Connecticut, the author reflects on a life-altering diagnosis of a rare malignant tumor while deciding to destroy years of personal journals. This act, prompted by a fear of mortality, brings a sense of empowerment as she confronts her life story. The burning of her diaries becomes a metaphorical way of seeking control over her narrative during a time of uncertainty. Despite the fear of death looming, she finds satisfaction in this drastic measure of self-expression and liberation from her past thoughts and memories contained within those pages.
In a time of experiencing a profound loss of control in the form of the tumor that was blurring my vision, this felt like a consummate act of taking back my life, or at least my story.
My journals! Why had I kept them? Why, if, as I was certain, I never wanted a soul to read them?
Initially, this was satisfying. What was I doing? I thought I knew. None of us ever plan on dying, not really, or at least not soon.
As the author of multiple memoirs, I was accustomed to controlling my own narrative.
Collection
[
|
...
]