"1. High standards and goals versus preoccupation with personal goals. It is a good thing to set goals and develop strategies to reach them, but narcissists-that is, those who have diagnosable narcissistic personality disorder or markedly higher levels of trait narcissism-set those goals to the exclusion of regard for others. Example: Jim wanted to hit the highest sales numbers every month, a trait his boss admired greatly."
"2. Recognition of feeling versus actual empathy. There is a difference between feeling for someone and feeling with someone. A narcissist may know what it feels like to have a dog die and thereby express acknowledgement when someone else suffers a similar loss, particularly when it is in their best interest to do so. But a true narcissist has a hard time imagining and feeling for someone who experiences something that is outside of their experience."
Normally healthy traits can become harmful when they dominate concern for others. Goal-setting, assertiveness, and desire for admiration are adaptive unless they obscure regard for others. Strong romantic connections do not require adopting a partner's preferences, and healthy people allow friends and partners equal space. Pathological narcissism shows when personal goals override others' needs, when acknowledgement replaces true empathy, and when individuals cannot imagine experiences outside their own. Examples include sabotaging a mentee to protect status and dismissing a partner's distress instead of offering support.
Read at Psychology Today
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