I Was Always Tired And Never Knew Why Until I Recognized The Same Pattern In My Children

"To show up for him, I had to learn a new language: how to correct with empathy, how to show more than tell, how to make sure he understood without talking down to him, and how to listen. It's one thing to fight for your children to be understood and heard, but it's quite another to recognize that you spent years being misunderstood yourself."

"In my 20s, I spent a lot of time "fixing" myself. I found it challenging to stick with a plan, organize, and balance work and life expectations. I had a hard time paying attention to details or prioritizing tasks, often getting sidetracked by another task that took up less brain space. I had trouble with social performance, finding myself utterly exhausted after networking and following a social script."

"All these challenges made it seem like I was careless or flighty. It felt like everyone was excelling in areas that I found emotionally exhausting and it was nearly impossible to keep up. I thought I needed to push harder, do more. I sped through books about organization and focus. I even paid a hypnotist to help train my brain. I worked harder, stayed up later, and chastised myself for not getting it right. Overwhelm and exhaustion became my normal."

An eldest son's autism diagnosis shifted daily life to focus on his needs, future, and environment. Caregiving required learning empathetic correction, showing more than telling, avoiding talking down, and attentive listening. The experience prompted recognition of years spent being misunderstood. In the 20s, repeated attempts to "fix" executive and social challenges included struggling to plan, organize, prioritize, and sustain social performance, often becoming exhausted by networking and social scripts. Persistent self-criticism, intensified work, and self-help measures such as hypnosis failed to resolve chronic overwhelm. Sensory sensitivity to noise and agitation from sudden change lacked an explanatory framework before awareness of neurodivergence and adult presentations of ADD.

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