"You may stay later at work than you want to because your boss asked you to take on another project at the last minute, and you found it hard to say no. You may say yes to signing your child up for one more activity, even though your calendar is already overloaded, because you'd feel guilty if they missed out."
"You may find ways to justify your actions as self-focused, arguing that helping your boss may help you get promoted, taking your child to one more activity will give you time to get other tasks done while other adults are responsible for their care, or that talking to your friend will help you spend less time worrying about how they are doing."
Boundary setting can protect physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing while also serving as a strategy to delay confronting stressful situations. People may struggle to set limits around time, energy, and others, leading to staying late at work, overcommitting children, or sacrificing personal quiet to placate friends. Common patterns include prioritizing others' needs and justifying concessions as self-focused benefits like career advancement, childcare convenience, or reduced worry. Alternatively, people may quickly say no or avoid responses and label that behavior as boundary setting. Both setting boundaries and using them as avoidance are unhelpful when they do not address the root causes of recurring stress.
Read at Psychology Today
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