How to Make Grief a Little Less Lonely

"The first time I heard the term " loneliness epidemic," it gave me pause. I'd always thought of an epidemic as an outbreak of disease, and while loneliness is emotionally painful, I hadn't realized it could literally make us sick. A bit of digging, and I learned that loneliness doesn't just affect our mood; it can increase our risk of heart disease and stroke and has even been found to pose the same health risks as smoking 15 cigarettes a day."

"There are many factors contributing to this epidemic, of course, with one major culprit being our reliance on technology as a primary means of connection. We spend more time looking down at screens than looking up at faces. Even when we're with people in person, we're often distracted by the digital world in our pockets. But the very thing we blame for driving us apart sometimes becomes the thing that brings us together, especially when it comes to grief."

"I've lost six of the people closest to me: three parents, two sisters, and my teenage daughter. That means 12 times a year, I'm observing/celebrating/honoring one of their birthdays or deathdays. That's a lot of non-holiday holidays to mark on my calendar. The deathdays tend to be more ritualistic and somber than the birthdays. I light a yahrtzeit candle. I visit the cemetery. I play sad music and stay close to home."

Loneliness has been identified as a public-health crisis that increases risks of heart disease and stroke and can pose health damage comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Heavy reliance on technology and frequent screen use reduces face-to-face attention and contributes to the epidemic. Social media and digital connection can nonetheless facilitate communal grieving, allowing people to name the deceased and keep them present. Personal bereavement involves multiple anniversaries of birthdays and deathdays, with deathdays observed solemnly through rituals and birthdays sometimes transformed into celebrations. Posting about lost loved ones offers a less vulnerable way to signal hurt and invite shared remembrance.

Read at Psychology Today