"Do you find yourself being harshly self-critical after you've made a mistake or failed to meet a personal goal? Familiar self-statements might be: "I can't seem to do anything right!" or "I'm just not talented enough." Maybe you falsely assume that you must be harsh with yourself in hopes of getting better results next time. What you might not know is that your self-criticism may be making it less likely that you'll succeed in the future."
"Alternatively, you might struggle with a very different mindset, as in "I'm the best at this; I should have beaten the competition!" You may be operating under a vulnerable sense of self-esteem that is undermining your ability to be self-compassionate. Self-esteem based upon feeling superior to others doesn't support self-compassionate thinking. Self-compassion is a critical part of what constitutes self-care, along with self-nurturant behavior (exercise, healthy eating, etc.)"
Harsh self-criticism after mistakes or unmet goals often takes the form of messages like "I can't seem to do anything right" or "I'm just not talented enough." Some people respond with superiority-based thoughts such as "I'm the best at this; I should have beaten the competition," which signals vulnerable self-esteem and undermines self-compassion. Self-compassion, alongside self-nurturing behaviors and self-discipline, supports mental health and goal attainment. Believing that criticism prevents weakness is mistaken; research shows self-critical thinking does not improve performance. Feeling safe and supported fosters optimal performance, and treating oneself kindly improves mental well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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