How to Deal With Being Disliked at the Office

"Some people have an uncomfortable work environment because their coworkers treat them poorly, and even worse, some of these people disturb themselves about it. To address this problem, first apply the Problem Separation Technique (PST). Ask yourself, do I have a practical problem, and if I do, am I creating an emotional problem about my practical problem? The Practical Problem If you are disliked at work, this may present a Practical Problem: Ask yourself these questions: 1. What are my goals each day at the office?"

"2. Is being disliked interfering with my ability to achieve my goals? 3. Are there things I can do, not do, do more of, or do less of to remedy this? For example: smile at everyone when I see them first thing in the morning; chat with coworkers on breaks; find out about their interests and discuss yours; ask them about their families and tell them about yours; discuss your mutual work histories."

"Once you've addressed the practical problem, ask yourself: Do I have an Emotional Problem about the Practical Problem? Do I feel hurt, anxious, depressed, or resentful about this? If so, begin by addressing your emotions separately and then identify the irrational thinking that's causing each. The good news is you do not have to feel hurt even if your coworkers continue to dislike you! You can change your thinking. Let's use hurt as an example: Here are some possible irrational beliefs about the Practical Problem causing your disturbed emotions: Their disapproval proves I'm a worthless loser. I must be thought well of."

Some coworkers may treat employees poorly, creating uncomfortable work environments and additional self-distress. Apply the Problem Separation Technique (PST) by asking whether a practical problem exists and whether an emotional problem has been added. For practical problems, clarify daily work goals and determine whether dislike interferes with achieving them, then try behavioral remedies such as smiling, chatting during breaks, learning coworkers' interests, and sharing appropriate personal details. For emotional problems, address feelings separately, identify irrational beliefs causing hurt or anxiety, and use cognitive changes to reduce emotional pain even if coworkers continue to dislike you.

Read at Psychology Today