Feeling Like You're Behind May Be Based on Distorted Beliefs

"Emotional reasoning is a distorted thinking pattern, meaning that we tend to engage in it automatically and when we don't want to think too deeply. Normally, we form an interpretation about the outside world and our feelings follow. With emotional reasoning, we interpret the world almost solely based on our feelings - we think, "Because I feel this way, my perspective (which is based on that feeling) must be true. Why else would I have this feeling?" Rather than feelings following facts, facts follow feelings."

"So, as you can imagine, they utilize most of their time thinking and doing in order to attempt to fill the void, which feels infinite. Distorted thinking styles are often deeply associated with one another, so if one engages in emotional reasoning, it may also be associated with black and white thinking or over-generalizing, for example. So, perfectionists often fail to recognize how these other patterns relate to their intuitive belief that they aren't doing enough or, again, falling behind."

Emotional reasoning is a cognitive distortion where feelings determine interpretations of reality rather than facts guiding feelings. People assume feelings must reflect objective truth, for example anxiety meaning threat or anger meaning blame. Perfectionistic individuals commonly use emotional reasoning, saying "I feel like I'm a failure" or "I feel like I'm falling behind." Those beliefs drive excessive time spent trying to fill perceived voids and link with other distortions like black-and-white thinking and overgeneralization. Self-oriented perfectionists set uncompromising standards and refuse less-than-perfect outcomes. Challenging unfair, unhelpful thinking can ease excessively high self-oriented standards and reduce distress.

Read at Psychology Today