"In relation to words, Eleanor Roosevelt presented the following proposition: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Long before this statement was presented, children on playgrounds were known (especially during times of "differences of opinion") to announce the following saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" (Gross, 1998; Smith & Ellsworth, 1985; Teicher et al., 2010)."
"The universal insights presented in this maxim, together with the insights of Glasser and the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, affirm two social universal truths: (1) We only have control over our own thoughts and actions and (2), we cannot control the thoughts and actions of others (Bandura, 2006; Glasser, 1984; Masten, 2001; Purje, 2014; Skinner, 1996; Yeager & Dweck, 2012). Research indicates that these social universal truths appear across philosophy, psychology, sociology, neuroscience, and phenomenological lived experience. They are both intrinsic and extrinsic social features of ongoing individual and social interactions; as noted, one of which we control, and one of which we do not control (Kowalski et al., 2014; Markus & Kitayama, 1991; Moran, 2022; Shin et al., 2019; Wang & Yin, 2023)."
Intrinsic motivation and personal attitude exert the greatest influence on what an individual does, says, and achieves. Individuals bear accountability for their own attitudes, actions, and behavior, and living creatures exercise self-control to varying degrees. Words can challenge perceived self-worth, yet the belief that others cannot make one feel inferior without consent supports resilience. The maxim "sticks and stones..." has been used to build self-belief, self-esteem, agency, and determination. Two social universal truths follow: people control their own thoughts and actions, and they cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. Cross-disciplinary research supports these insights.
Read at Psychology Today
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