Asking Eric: I don't like church, crafts or dating. What are my options for finding a friend?

"Dear Eric: I retired a couple of years ago. I like many people, I think have realized that most of my friends and even acquaintances were work-related. My family doesn't live close. I've always been a loner, so this doesn't normally even bother me. I recently had a health issue come up where I needed a responsible adult to drive me home from surgery and I had a hard time coming up with someone."

"I don't want to negate your experience, but I'd gently suggest that much of this problem is not on you, actually. Many people, of all ages, struggle to find and maintain social connections. And many adults find social life in retirement to be a new, surprising challenge. One option you may not have considered is seeking out groups or activities that aren't necessarily geared toward seniors. Perhaps you'll find more in common with the chess club or a sports league, for instance."

"I tried volunteer work, but as in many towns, that is pretty much run by the churches and, after I kept politely turning down offers to come to their church, I found myself ignored or ostracized. I know a lot of the problem is on me, but how do you make friends or at least another responsible adult when you are over 60?"

Retirement frequently eliminates workplace-based friendships, leaving many adults with few nearby social contacts or family support. Solitary interests and discomfort with typical senior-center offerings can limit opportunities for companionship. Health emergencies reveal practical vulnerabilities when no responsible local adult is available. Volunteer opportunities may be dominated by religious organizations, which can create exclusion for those uncomfortable with organized religion. Acknowledging some personal responsibility coexists with systemic barriers to connection. Seeking intergenerational groups, joining hobby clubs not targeted to seniors, participating in sports or chess clubs, or taking a part-time job can create practical chances to meet reliable adult companions.

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