
"In my last post, we explored why you may be too tired to parent the way you want-to the knowledge-capacity gap that leaves even well-informed parents unable to use the tools they know when they're depleted. We talked about how chronic stress limits access to the parts of your brain responsible for self-control and empathy. Today, I'm sharing seven practical steps that actually help when you're too exhausted to parent the way you want."
"The next question I ask parents who are struggling with self-blame is: "How is your self-compassion practice?" Then they look at me sheepishly and say: "Ummm...not so good." Most of them wouldn't allow anyone to speak to their kids in the way they speak to themselves. We work on practices to create a "bridge" to self-compassion, like writing a letter to a friend who is struggling with the same situation, and then reading it to ourselves."
Most misbehavior is children trying to meet legitimate needs through the only strategy they know: resistance. Chronic stress and the knowledge–capacity gap leave well-informed parents unable to use known tools when depleted by limiting access to brain regions for self-control and empathy. Practical, nervous-system-aligned strategies help parents who are too exhausted to parent as they wish. Primary steps include stopping self-blame and cultivating self-compassion through practices like writing a supportive letter to oneself. Recognizing depletion as the root cause enables addressing underlying needs. Investing energy to teach children problem-solving reduces long-term parenting workload, and outside support reveals interaction patterns parents miss when too close.
Read at Psychology Today
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