"Many adult children aren't failing because they lack intelligence, talent, or opportunity. They are stuck because they think too much and act too little. The parents I work with often describe these children in the same way: bright, sensitive, thoughtful, and capable. Over time, this not only slows growth but also infantilizes adulthood, keeping capable young adults dependent on certainty, reassurance, and avoidance rather than action."
"3 Ways Overthinking Undermines Emotional Growth in Adult Children 1. Overthinking replaces action. Overthinking trains the brain to think more rather than act. As children, overthinkers learn to mentally rehearse every possibility. What if I fail? What if I choose wrong? What if someone disagrees? By adulthood, this pattern feels paralyzing. Decisions feel scary. Action feels premature, and waiting feels safer. The point is that confidence does not come just from thinking; it comes from doing."
Overthinking trains the brain to analyze rather than act, producing worry loops that replace risk-taking and follow-through. Bright, capable young adults can become infantilized by dependence on certainty, reassurance, and avoidance, leading to stalled careers and waning motivation. Overthinking cultivates a younger psychological stance that tolerates discomfort poorly and avoids responsibility. Rehearsing possibilities like "What if I fail?" or "What if I choose wrong?" becomes paralyzing and prevents confidence-building through doing. When thinking consistently substitutes for action, momentum and ambition shrink, and underachievement results despite intelligence, talent, or opportunity. Breaking the pattern requires tolerating discomfort, taking responsibility, and learning through action rather than seeking certainty.
Read at Psychology Today
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