I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

"My mother was physically in the room but emotionally somewhere I couldn't get to. There was a glass wall between us that I spent my entire childhood pressing my face against, trying to figure out why I couldn't get through."

"When a parent dies, the grief is enormous but at least it has a shape. There's an event. There's a before and after. People understand it."

"The confusion for a child in that situation is profound. Because children don't think in abstract terms about emotional availability. They think: something is wrong, and it's probably me."

A mother can be physically present yet emotionally unavailable, creating a disconnect that leaves a child feeling isolated. This emotional absence leads to confusion, as children may internalize the lack of connection as a personal failing. Unlike the clear grief associated with death, the grief from emotional neglect lacks a defined shape, making it difficult to articulate and process. This unresolved feeling of unworthiness can persist into adulthood, affecting future relationships and self-perception.

Read at Silicon Canals