It's part of who I am': Heston Blumenthal on the bipolar diagnosis that saved his life, his journey of self-discovery and how he finally emerged from his family's shadow

Heston Blumenthal, the acclaimed British chef, is preparing for the 30th anniversary of his renowned restaurant, the Fat Duck. He grapples with refining classic dishes for an anniversary menu, amid personal turmoil stemming from his recent diagnosis of bipolar II disorder. Following a manic episode and hospitalization, Blumenthal faces the daunting task of revisiting past recipes, only to find they fall short of his current standards. His wife, Melanie, describes his state during this period as increasingly isolating, leading to hallucinations and intense feelings of despair.

You start off with the old recipes and you realise they're not up to scratch—we've moved on. So we're tasting, tasting, tasting.

It felt real, but there was nothing there, I was hallucinating. And then I started talking about death.

Read at www.theguardian.com