"I spent Christmas in France, which was on its best behaviour: tasteful, twinkling lights, market stalls stacked with exquisitely fresh fruit and vegetables, and enough cheeses to coat the entire Channel Tunnel with arterial plaque, piled platters of glistening shellfish on ice glimpsed through fogged brasserie windows. As I watched a long but orderly queue of well-dressed citizens collecting their artisanal Buche de Noel (yule log) I thought, disloyally, that my home town of York,"
"The crisp aisle is an absolute sink of depravity, stacked with the likes of blue cheese, falafel, Flemish stew and salted butter flavours. Who eats butter crisps? It's like something from one of those American fairs where they deep fry sticks of butter (the comedian Tatty Macleod recently claimed they're the best crisps she's ever tasted, but she's obviously fallen victim to some kind of Breton brainwashing she grew up in Brittany)."
"I know the crisp flavouring industry worldwide is as lawless and unregulated as big tech: no one will let potato be potato, embellished as it should be with just a dignified dusting of salt. We have a dark history with crisp flavours in the UK, especially at this time of year: 2025, after all, gave us gingerbread Doritos and limited-edition Beef Wellington Walkers, and who could forget that time Marks & Spencer thought prosecco and winter berry was an appealing flavour for a savoury snack?"
Christmas in France features tasteful, twinkling lights, bustling market stalls with exquisitely fresh fruit and vegetables, abundant cheeses and piled platters of glistening shellfish glimpsed through fogged brasserie windows. Long orderly queues form for artisanal Buche de Noel. By contrast, York becomes a chaotic spectacle at holiday time with mince‑pie‑flavoured vapes and BuzzBallz. Supermarkets expose culinary excess: the crisp aisle contains blue cheese, falafel, Flemish stew and salted butter flavours. The crisp‑flavour industry is described as lawless, producing gingerbread Doritos, limited‑edition Beef Wellington Walkers and odd Marks & Spencer savoury variants. Speculation about even more extravagant flavours concludes the observation.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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