"What do you mean, The New Etiquette? Do you believe that if enough people do something wrong, that makes it right? Is shoplifting legal if enough people start doing it? Miss Manners is at least relieved that your family's transgressions are limited to eating sloppily, which doesn't harm others. It could reflect badly on them, but not if everyone else they know eats the same way."
"And, as we both know, despite Miss Manners' having pounced on you for the way you phrased it, many do. So she advises you to give up on the adults. You had your chance, they know better, and may still be able to do better if they encounter situations where they are afraid of making a bad impression. You might still influence your grandchildren, however."
The family exhibits deteriorating table manners: arms on the table, a foot on a chair, aggressive jabbing at food, resting silverware handles on the table, eating before everyone sits, and awkward fork use. These behaviors are unpleasant but not harmful, and they may only reflect poorly if others judge them. Adults likely learned and chose new habits and are unlikely to change. Influence is more feasible with grandchildren and teenagers, who care about making good impressions in situations such as college interviews, job interviews, or dining with parents of a crush.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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