"Your twenties are over. The days of lolling around, wasting time, looking rested on three hours of sleep, and casually making bad decisions are gone. Or are they?"
"It may seem like you need to make the correct decisions in your thirties if you want to set yourself up for success, but that's not true. You always have options, so don't let the pressure get to you!"
"If by thirty you don't have a solid dental-hygiene routine, your options are: Make an appointment at the most expensive dentist in the city... Move to the U.K."
"If by thirty-three you haven't found career satisfaction, your options are: Stay at the job you have, work until eight every night... Ask your parents if they're secretly wealthy."
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