After enduring homelessness and difficult jobs, the speaker describes working toward a future with only modest stability, including a mediocre labor position and the possibility of completing a degree by mid to late adulthood. The speaker frames this progress as earned, but also as costly, citing neglect of spouse, children, pets, and personal well-being to secure small improvements such as better vacation accommodations. Vacations and family life were not always available, and pets were lost during homelessness. Despite feeling fortunate to have survived and advanced, the speaker says the ongoing pressure to work more and fill every moment with productivity removes meaning from the goals once taught to pursue.
"I went through a lot of shit and worked some really shitty jobs so I can one day work a mediocre menial labor position and possibly work off a degree by my mid to late forties. Fucking earned the right to neglect my wife, my kids, my cats, and myself so we can sometimes get a slightly better hotel room on vacations."
"I didn't used to have vacations though. Or the wife and kids. I had cats back then too, but I sort of lost them when I was homeless for a bit. I'm very fortunate to have made it as far as I have. It hardly compares to someone with real success or real challenges."
"This constant need to work more and fill all of my time with productivity is draining any meaning out of any of the things I was taught to work for."
Read at Portland Mercury
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