#relationship-therapy

#relationship-therapy

The real problem isn't disagreement- it's silencing the problems. Yes, some people tend to swallow frustrations instead of speaking them. Or they channel them into other things: sports, work, or friendships (talking about constructive ones), or affairs or addictions (talking about destructive ones). However, even constructive channeling doesn't eliminate resentment, and it still grows like a slow poison. Those unspoken things don't vanish; they just wait and pile up until they explode in ways that leave deeper scars for both partners.

Love and support often characterize families, and they characterize how siblings get along, according to our research (see Adult Sibling Relationships, Columbia University Press). But resentment, miscommunication, and maladaptive family interaction patterns handed down from one generation to the next also characterize some families. History may be prologued. Those patterns are often reified in the present. They live on as family and personal narratives, and they affect and infect future generations.