""The four horsemen are four types of behaviors that are seen within relationships which typically indicate it may be on the rocks," Thais Gibson, a relationship expert and founder of The Personal Development School, told HuffPost. "These horsemen, alone or in combination, are what signal a dysfunctional relationship according to Gottman. The more of these traits that are expressed in a relationship, the more likely there is to be a breakup or divorce.""
"This framework for identifying unhealthy relationship behaviors stems from the Gottmans' famous "Love Lab" research. "Couples actually lived in an apartment for a predetermined amount of time where researchers would observe them, and what they tended to find were the strongest predictors of dissolution were those four horsemen ― criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling," said M.L. Parker, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Interdependence Clinical Consulting. "So we know these behaviors or characteristics are incredibly harmful to long-term relationships.""
Four destructive communication patterns—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—undermine relationship stability and raise the likelihood of breakup or divorce. The concept originates from John and Julie Gottman’s Love Lab, where couples were observed living together and those behaviors emerged as the strongest predictors of dissolution. The horsemen act as warning signs pointing to deeper problems rather than fixed verdicts about a partnership’s future. Addressing them often requires clearer communication, better emotional regulation, boundaries, and individual or couples therapy. Early recognition and targeted intervention can reduce harm and restore healthier interaction patterns over time.
Read at HuffPost
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