4 Major Mistakes Couples Make When They Argue

"The real problem isn't disagreement- it's silencing the problems. Yes, some people tend to swallow frustrations instead of speaking them. Or they channel them into other things: sports, work, or friendships (talking about constructive ones), or affairs or addictions (talking about destructive ones). However, even constructive channeling doesn't eliminate resentment, and it still grows like a slow poison. Those unspoken things don't vanish; they just wait and pile up until they explode in ways that leave deeper scars for both partners."

"So many couples believe that avoiding arguments means having a healthy relationship! But the opposite is the truth: Conflict of interests is natural when two people with different hearts and histories come together. Moreover, the more time you and your partner spend together, the more discrepancies arise and require your attention.The real problem isn't disagreement- it's silencing the problems. Yes, some people tend to swallow frustrations instead of speaking them. Or they channel them into other things: sports, work, or friendships (talking about constructive ones), or affairs or addictions (talking about destructive ones). However, even constructive channeling doesn't eliminate resentment, and it still grows like a slow poison. Those unspoken things don't vanish; they just wait and pile up until they explode in ways that leave deeper scars for both partners. Try this: Catch the conflict early and try to discuss things as they heat up, not after they've blown out of proportion."

"Partners should accept their differences; demanding identical thinking creates distance, not closeness. From my experience as a couples and relationship therapist, I've noticed common patterns that couples often fall into when they argue. These patterns lead to mistakes that prevent effective communication. Let me share with you the four most common ones and tips on how to deal with them. Mistake 1: Avoiding Conflicts Altogether"

Avoiding conflict causes resentment to accumulate and eventually explode, damaging relationships. Channeling frustrations into work or activities may mask issues but does not remove underlying resentment. Address conflicts early before they escalate. Past traumas, insecurities, and personal histories shape how partners react and often convert present disagreements into replayed wounds, causing projections. Recognizing those influences helps separate present issues from past pain. Accepting differences rather than demanding identical thinking reduces distance and fosters closeness. Practical steps include catching conflicts early, discussing feelings as they arise, and understanding personal triggers rooted in history.

Read at Psychology Today