Most of us have strong opinions about what those words mean, but scratch the surface and it becomes clear that "smart" and "dumb" are slippery, subjective constructs. What seems smart to one person may strike another as naive, arrogant, or shortsighted. Worse still, our own perception of what's smart can shift over time. Yesterday's clever decision can look like today's regrettable blunder.
Most of us know the pain and isolation that occurs when we feel judged unfairly by others. We can move through the discomfort of judgment by understanding the reasons why others judge. By focusing on forgiveness and learning the lessons of our situation, we can adopt a healthy mindset. We all make mistakes. Sitting in the discomfort that judgment creates can deepen our connection to humanity.
When I encounter unsolicited comments about my family size, I respond with something humorous or corny to diffuse any judgment. For instance, I might say, "Hands full, heart full!" while engaging with my kids.
"I can hold convos... Instead, what I got was nail salon workers joking around in their own language about who wants to touch the disgusting white people's hands."
