#emotional-security

#emotional-security

Relationships that matter will, at some point, require two people to sit across from each other and have a hard conversation. Disappointment, hurt, boundaries, power, change, or loss-no matter how emotionally challenging the topic, they're all non-negotiable subjects that need to be discussed in relationships. In a sense, they're a part of the regular relationship curriculum that people don't talk about.

It isn't an oversimplification to say that perfectionism, at its core, is about a deep and irrational need for emotional and often even physical security. As much as I dislike searches for abstract "root causes," because causes tend to be complex, we can safely (no pun intended) conceive of the specific goals and specific desires in perfectionism as being in service of self-preservation, feeling protected from external and, thus, internal skeptics and critics.